Never ending...

Woke up in insane leg pain. (All the same only worse). Called my PT guy right away. 3x a week until surgery. Hopefully that will help because I have been told I will be given no more pain meds. The only thing that is OK is standing. Sitting and even laying down is painful. Cried. Hard. Poor long suffering husband held me. They want to change my pre-op to tomorrow. Any bets on if my surgery will be pushed back again?

I am trying to hide my tears from my son.  I told him I would likely be very fragile leading up to the surgery.  Cry a lot, be curt, freak out.

He said, "But mom, you cried all last year, and it was my best year of school."  Which of course made me weep, quietly in the bathroom.

When will this end?

Hopefully this is it......

New surgery date:  September 16.

Never Again

I met a woman yesterday who had stage 3 breast cancer. She chose a total mastectomy, and said she couldn't get the rebuild. She was cancer free but worries every single day about getting the cancer back somewhere else at any moment. I don't want to be her. I just want this to be over.

Dancing Star

......or at least that's what I tell myself.   Appointment made for my final surgery.  After that I will consider myself cancer free and this long long ride will come to an end and I will become a dancing star.  :-)