As much as we want to pretend otherwise, the human experience is not a pretty thing. In our modern culture we are bombarded with images depicting the human ideal as a goal for each of us to attain. According to these images we should each resemble Kim Kardashian more than, well, anybody in the Honey Boo Boo household. (This is despite the fact that Honey Boo Boo’s family seems to have far healthier relationships with one another.) Our culture tells us that we should be airbrushed and pristine at all times and keep the gore of life tucked neatly away so as not to make other people uncomfortable.
But, let’s be real, life is messy. I do believe that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. A big part of having a human experience is being tethered to this gross physical sack of blood, bones, pus, and ooze. This ‘sack’ is what defines the human experience in that it both affects the being of our soul and is prone to breaking down. Our bodily instinct of self preservation makes it only natural that we would feel uncomfortable with this. However, embracing the break down is an integral part of really living a human life.
When I recently injured myself, one of the hardest things to deal with was the response from the other members from my yoga teacher training group. It was painful because there was no response. Despite the fact that they all knew multiple ways to get in touch with me, no one reached out to see how I was doing for some time. I felt like a broken toy that had been tossed aside because it didn’t work anymore. In talking to my close friends I discovered that my experience was far more common than I would have thought. One good friend told me how her sister was dumped by a group of women that she had trained for multiple triathlons with after an injury put her on the sidelines. Another friend, a young woman who grapples with a sometimes debilitating disorder, told me about a time when she felt rejected and objectified due to bodily break down. She had just been released from the hospital and was at Whole Foods buying some much needed groceries. While struggling to do her normal shopping from a wheelchair another shopper stopped to open gawk at her straining to reach the asparagus. My friend described the woman as a typical health conscious person: she appeared to have just come from a yoga or gym class and was buying healthy foods, all in a vain attempt to ward off illness and death. I’m sure this stranger was a perfectly compassionate and kind person, but it would seem that coming face to face with the reality that my friend sometimes has to live was enough to pop her out of her comfortable bubble.
And, sadly, I have to point the finger at myself as well. I’ll be honest, there’s something about people with tubes coming out of them that just scares me. As an elementary school child, we had “adopted grandparents” that we would visit in the nursing home once a week. All the other kids thought it was great, I thought it was terrifying. All those old people tied up to machines with various wires and tubes, I was only 8 years old and didn’t know what to do. I truly believe that removing ourselves from injury and disease is an innate defense mechanism build into our bodies. However, as we mature we become masters of our responses to the world and need to learn to respond with compassion as opposed to fear. One day each and every one of us will have the opportunity be in the position to watch our bodies fail us.
I know a brave woman, who is challenging her friends and family on this ground. This woman recently was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent surgery this past Thanksgiving. Upon logging into my Facebook the other day, I was greeted with a photograph of blood. Her blood. Apparently there was a slight malfunction with her port and a bit of her blood ended up spilling to the floor. Did she freak out? I don’t know, I wasn’t there, but I don’t think so. I do know that she made a dash for every camera in the house in order to document her humanity. And then, did she keep it quietly to herself, sweeping reality under the rug and putting on a painted smile? Not a chance, she posted that right up on her Facebook page for all to see. She gave her loved ones a gift, the opportunity to examine their own discomfort. I have to admit, that move made her a little bit of a hero to me.
It is difficult enough to understand the truth that our authentic self lies in our spiritual being. The fact that we are tethered to this physical vehicle for duration of our human experience makes it exceptionally difficult. We must perform the balancing act of both remember our spiritual truths as well as fully engage with the human experience. Is it possible to be conscious of both aspects of our being? I think so. Being sick or injured opens new doors in that it allows us to experience this life in a completely different way. Instead of shunning others when they don’t feel well, or feeling anger at your own body when it seems to betray you, try instead turning to it with compassion and look for the lessons that are to be found in this embodied experience. Clearly this is something that we are all meant to learn. As Krishna so aptly reminded Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita: the only way to avoid death is to avoid birth.
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